22th December 2071
I asked Sam to have a rummage in my head. I could probably have dropped a shitload of money for a shrink to gently dig this out while I make art with finger paint, but I’ve waited long enough. I told Sam what I could remember, the crossroads and the moment the first AT mine went up so he could find what he was looking for.
To keep me from accidentally killing Sam or something, Frettchen cuffed me to a chair and I had her promise that she would stop me from hurting Sam, no matter how hilarious the situation might be. I could feel him in my head, like he was holding rolls of film up to the light to see what’s on them. I got flashes of memory, but I couldn’t really see what he was seeing. He worked his way backwards – at least I’ve had an entertaining life, I guess.
And then he found it. I could tell because he held onto that particular memory for a long time. Like getting a tooth pulled, shot up on novocaine. Not painful as such, Sam was as gentle as possible, but really fucking unpleasant. He asked me if I wanted to see what he found or if I’d rather have him just tell me.
I wanted to see. I’ve been trying to remember way too fucking long, of course I want to see. Next thing I know, I’m back in the desert and I have this shitty feeling that something is wrong. Nothing to see, but my gut knows what’s up. I’m turning to It to see if he’s feeling the same and that’s when the mine explodes, taking the first humvee with it. All hell breaks loose and we’re under fire from snipers.
Another mine explodes under me and suddenly, I’m pinned down. I can feel my ribcage getting crushed, bone splinters pushing into my lungs. I know this hurts like fuck, but my pain editor and the shock keep me numb. I also take note of the fact that my arm is broken because bones shouldn’t stick out of the skin like that. But all of this is only mildly interesting compared to the fact that my boys are getting slaughtered and neither pain editor nor shock do anything to numb the feeling of watching this helplessly.
I can see that It has been thrown between two boulders and no-one notices him there. Everyone else gets picked off by the snipers, clean as you like. I don’t recognize the insignia, but whoever those guys are, they are good. They come down to check that everyone is dead and shoot whoever’s still breathing. Jay … Jay puts up one hell of a fight and then he’s just gone. Like, vanishes into thin air.
They miss It completely and seem to think I’m dead. Fair assumption when an APC has fallen on someone. They take two of us with them and are gone. No idea how long it takes for the cavalry to get to us, but they do get there and there, Sam stopped the memory he implanted.
After all that, I almost popped the handcuffs before Frettchen cut me loose and I spent the next two hours or so in the kitchen closet until she had me calmed down enough that I could remember where and when I was. She did not make one single coming out of the closet-joke, I am a bit disappointed.
Anyway. Sam tells me that I will lose this memory over time because it’s one he put into my head. But maybe the real memory will take its place. It has stayed buried long enough.